where is my brain?

I have had the worst case of pregnancy brain. I can't remember anything short term. For example when I go into another room with intentions of doing something and I can't remember. Or I get on the computer to look something up and I can't remember what it was. This better be one smart baby :o) Sucking all my brain power.


Another funny thing.....Rick and I were discussing old wives tales one morning and how silly they were. A little while later I remembered the one about how if a woman is having a girl, the baby sucks all the Mom's beauty away. So I was in the bathroom in our room brushing my hair and I said " I must be having a girl, I look terrible" He said what do you mean. So I explained it to him, and he said "Yeah, she sure is sucking away all yours" It was so funny. I stared cracking up. Normally I would have probably been really offended and cried. But for some reason this humored me. I think it is because I knew he did not mean it the way it came out. So I gave him a hard time and he said he knows he is never going to hear the end of this one. :o)


And OMG! Anyone else have issues with bras during pregnancy? I don't know if this is because this is my 2nd or what. But my boobs are getting enormous!! I actually have not been able to wear any of my old bras because they cut of my circulation and I feel like I can't breathe. I bought a sports bra to see if I could hack that, no go. So I measured last night to see what my new bra size is. I can not believe it! It is so ridiculous that I am not going to buy a maternity bra online as I originally planned. There is no way I went from a DDD to an I. Yes that says I! My size itself went up 2 inches, but seriously an I!!! And since I was mortified I tried multiple sites and put in my measurements and some said H, one said DDDDDD, yes that is 6 D's. So when I finally get out to a store that has decent maternity bras I will be getting sized right there in the store. These things have taken over my body. Now I know where the shoulder and neck pain is really coming from!

Dreams.....

Okay so since being pregnant my dreams have been even more vivid and memorable than usual. Lately I have been having dreams about "hooking up" with my celebrity crushes, and crushes from high school. LOL What the heck! And also some not so hot dreams also. My sister told me when she was pregnant she had recurring dreams about Pauly Shore! It was so funny the was she described it! So since then she must have planted a seed because I am always dreaming about men. I don't think Rick would be very happy about that. So here are a few of the people that have been in my dreams lately. This does not include the real people in my life like friends, old crushes, old co workers, and of course Rick :o)

a little scary

So I went for my 16 week check up yesterday. I was not feeling well at all. I had a sore throat and a cold. I just wanted to stay at home in bed. But I went. No weight gain or loss. My blood pressure is still slightly elevated. But the scary part....she could not find the baby's heart beat! Talk about scared. She very calmly said " Let's go next door to the room with the ultrasound machine". I didn;t even know that thing worked anymore. I have never had one in the office. SO I tried to stay calm and she found the baby right away. Talk about relief. She was very kind to show me right where the heart was and to let me see it beating for about 30 seconds. The baby is a mover, like Braxton was. So she said she was not even going to attempt finding the sex. But I am set up for that June 4th. So baby seems to be okay, and doing well.

16 weeks

So today I am 16 weeks. I am slowly getting to the halfway point. I still struggle daily with many many things. I am sleeping better. The pillow must be helping some. But I have headaches still and this weekend had a migraine. It lasted from about 1pm Saturday until 5 am Sunday morning. I was really hoping I would get some relief in the 2nd trimester. I really love being pregnant, but I don't understand why I have to be so miserable. Make any sense? Probably not.

So I am kinda in a rut emotionally. I think once I find out what I am having and More starts happening, maybe I will be happier and healthier. I have been feeling really alone lately and writing a lot. I will talk to my Doctor this week and let her know all my concerns. Hopefully I can get some answers.

So don't mind me today. I am just feeling a little blue.

Oh yeah. My grandparents brought over some clothes today from my Aunt. There are some really cute things in there. Lots of cute pink girly stuff. We will see.......

Rick James to the rescue!

So Rick being the amazing guy that I know he is (but he forgets to show me sometimes) came to my rescue yesterday. First he called from work to check on me and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner last night. I said no because I didn't want to deal with "getting ready" because I felt so sick. Plus I have no clothes. So he got me cheese sticks from Papa John's that I have been wanting. THEN...Wait I am not done yet :o)......he went to Babies R Us and bought me a pregnancy pillow (which costs too much money) to see if it would help me sleep! How sweet is that! I didn't even ask for it! SO last night I did get a better sleep than I have in a few days. Not sure if it was the pillow, or just exhaustion, but something helped. So yeah, I am a lucky girl! So today I feel pretty good so far. I hope it keeps up throughout the day.

Sleepless nights

I don't know if it is my anxiety, I don't know if I am depressed again. Whatever it is I am not sleeping through the night. It is too early for the pregnancy to be causing this already. My belly is sticking out but not uncomfortable. I woke up this morning at 2:00 and could not go back to sleep. I still am not feeling well. I went out to the kitchen to get some milk and just started crying. I could not stop. This was at about 3:40 now. I came in my room and just was sobbing. Rick woke up and was shocked. I was really down yesterday and just wanted to be left alone. I think he is kinda scared because he has no idea what is wrong. All I can think of is that I am stuck in this house 24/7 and it is eating away at me. The weather is really making it worse because I can;t escape and go take a walk or anything! I just can;t take to much more, I am going to completely lose myself.

I am freakin miserable!!!

Okay so I have been cramped up in this house for what feels like forever because the weather has been so rainy, and cold and dreary! Brax is miserable because he wants to go "westside" which is supposed to be outside but he says westside. LOL To top it all off the weather is causing me to have horrible headaches, earaches and neck aches. I FINALLY stop puking everyday and now I am dealing with this crap! Tylenol cold and sinus, and regular tylenol and Benadryl are not helping! Now I have this weird pain in my right jaw, I am sure cause by my ear ache. Rick keeps telling me to call the Dr, but I don;t feel like hearing "it's all part of pregnancy". I will mention it when I go next week though. I am sure I have allergies, but I have never been tested. I am not sure if getting tested during pregnancy is a good idea.

I am also feeling the pregnancy blues. Feeling like no cares. No one is interseted in me or the baby. Feeling really alone. I wish I had more adult interaction out side of the house. I wish I had a car so Brax and I could do things during the day. It would be so awesome if Brax and I could have more play dates with Dyana and Juliana. But we are both stuck at home all day long with no car. It is SO frustrating!! SO yeah. I have been quite miserable.